It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
