btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
