Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
