You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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