I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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