How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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