look no pants
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
