she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
