(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
