id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
