Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
A+ Viking dick
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
