Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
