Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You smell like stripper and shame
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
