i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
