i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
