The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
