It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
