be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
