The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
well you can't waste a boner
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
