Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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