Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You dont lie about slip and slides
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
