I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
last night I used snow as a chaser
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