Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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