Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
