Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
