that's an acceptable place to lick
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
