You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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