fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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