i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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