Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
