um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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