Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
