As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
