A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
