The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize