bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
