It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize