all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
