Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
