I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
