i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His hands were made for my vagina.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
