He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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