i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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