Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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