Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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