it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
