Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
