i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
