You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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