Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
