I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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