In the future we'll all be gay
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
