i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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