I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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