A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
