white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We left an ass print on the piano.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize