omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
