Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
