i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
