I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
