don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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