Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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