So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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