ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
