Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She's the barista slut.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
