how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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