You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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