What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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