Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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