Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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